fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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