i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just pee around me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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