Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize