last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
