I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
