there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
