who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
