I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
