I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
