At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
