YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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