You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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