My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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