dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
