I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
