YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
