we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
