check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
