Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
