That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize