fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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