i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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