True but thats because hes a fetus.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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