can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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