that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
