So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
