Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
