I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A bitchslap is in order.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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