Grow some girl-balls and come out already
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
