my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My vagina just recognized that song.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
