I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
