Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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