one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
