How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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