the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
