you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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