I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
