Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
