dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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