It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
