I love black thongs
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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