you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
