so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if only i could text you this smell
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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