i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
