belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
