32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
How's work?
Spinning.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
