haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
