if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
FUCK WHALES
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
