Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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