Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
