Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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