Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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