Little spoons don't ask big questions
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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