You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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