ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
