do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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