you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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