I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
