a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
