This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
