So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
