What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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