yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize