I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
