So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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