went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
