Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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