so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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