lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
