so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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