i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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