i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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