You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
